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Keens Steakhouse

by mr. hipster February 5, 2019
February 5, 2019
Keens Steakhouse
94
Keens Steakhouse
Neighborhood: Midtown West
Cuisine: Steakhouse

Shouldn’t it be Keen’s Steakhouse, like with a possessive ‘s’? And who is this Keen dude? And why is he so obsessed with oldie timey churchwarden pipes? Like obsessed enough that the entirety of the huge, meandering space’s ceiling is covered with them? It’s a really, really odd feature, but one they market on their awning and at least adds some character to a restaurant that honestly doesn’t really need much more character.

I’ve been to a bunch of steakhouses around NYC. This is one of the oldest, although I’m not certain it’s thee oldest. There seemed to be some hedging there from several folks, but I think Old Homestead beats it out by fifteen years or so. That said, this joint clearly has some age to it. It’s everything that I thought Old Homestead was going to be, but totally wasn’t. It has all the casual old-world, steakhouse accoutrement that doesn’t fancy it up, but retains that overcrowded, Victorian charm with almost folk-arty looking paintings of British dudes and framed, yellowing documents and all sorts of knick-knacks and stuff. Sure, there are white table clothes, but they are there just to set off the red of the bloody steaks. And the waiters are dressed up, but it’s workmanlike and not stuffy. The whole restaurant is a meandering maze of stairs leading to rooms filled with post-work dudes in suits, tourists in shirtsleeves and guys like me who just love to eat a cow with a bottle of red on a weeknight.

If you’ve been to any of the other 1880s NYC establishments like Pete’s Tavern or PJ Clarke’s, then you kind of get the vibe here. It’s loud and lively, but not in an obnoxious, modern kind of way. After all, all that wood makes for a really decent sound absorber. But it definitely feels like folks are having a good time diving into their food and getting into the spirit of the, uh, spirits. But, honestly, we’re all here for the meat. And the worry is — or at least my worry generally is — that this is exactly the thing that will disappoint. Especially when that chunk of meat costs $54.

I went for the dry-aged New York strip. I asked about the grass-fed option, which is a whopping three dollars more, but the waiter just kind of crinkled his nose at the thought. So I ordered it up medium rare with some sear with a double side of potatoes (fries and hash browns). I’m not sure what possessed us to order two tuber-related sides, but we were two guys and the place just engenders starch. My steak was pretty enormous. And it had a great char on the outside and was cooked perfectly with a great salty crust. At first I didn’t think I’d possibly be able to finish it, but then I remembered that I am a bottomless pit and I killed that thing, sopped up the blood with some fries and was completely and ultimately satisfied. Definitely one of the best steaks I’ve ever had. And I’ve been to Sizzler!


72 W 36th St. (bet 5th & 6th Ave.)
212/947-3636
keens.com


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      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Tastee Platters – Montclair

      August 15, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Montclair Diner

      August 7, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Coda Kitchen & Bar

      July 29, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Sweet T’s Southern Eatery – Montclair

      July 24, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Tinga Fresh Mexican & BBQ

      July 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Falafel Hut

      July 12, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Tastee Platters – Montclair

      August 15, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Montclair Diner

      August 7, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Coda Kitchen & Bar

      July 29, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Sweet T’s Southern Eatery – Montclair

      July 24, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Tinga Fresh Mexican & BBQ

      July 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Falafel Hut

      July 12, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Maple Leaf Diner

      February 10, 2022

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary